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ARTICLE:

I Never Wore Gucci; I Never Bought "Coach"

I never wore Gucci. Never bought $200.00 Coach bags. Never wanted a Rolex.

I've never styled my hair or worn my makeup like any of the models in the latest magazines, and I've never owned a pair of Timberlands, Manolo Blaniks, or even Levi's in my life.

No -- following the latest trends was not my cup o' tea.

At first, it was because my family couldn't afford to (and my next-door-to-rich #%^$%$ "guardians" were too cheap to hook a sista up). But after I came to my senses, I found another, better excuse:

I think all that stuff is just plumb idiotic.


JUST LIKE BLOGS.


What the #$%#%^ IS a blog? Why is it CALLED a blog? Who CREATED a blog? Where the $%%^#$ did this whole "blog" thing COME from? It materialized out of thin air, if you let ME tell it.

There's no reason to PAY for any special software or scripts to create the darn things. (There are a multitude of news and/or Web archive posting scripts that you can find for $0 all over the durn place. Like at http://coranto.gweilo.org for example. I'm using Coranto now.)

I literally can't think of one thing you CAN'T do with that script and its add-ons -- though it's a pain in the arse to figure out without a good manual (which they don't have). But to create something as simple to set up as a blog, none of the add-ons would even be necessary.

And get this:

The helpful (free) community of people in the support forums actually get back to you in usually -- *gasp* -- just a few hours. In minutes, most of the time. (And did I mention it's FREE, this speedy support? Script included??)

I'd rather "suffer" through using a free script and getting super-fast tech support from a friendly free community than spend $X amount on an over-hyped "special blogging script" (that's not free), to receive lackadaisical support from any one, cryptic, overworked Web entrepreneur ... whenever they get around to it.

We're talking BLOGS, for heaven's sakes.

Not home saunas or Maseratis.

Not only are these clumsily named widgets simply glorified Web diaries ... they're called BLOGS, for goodness' sakes!

Ugh.

It leaves a thick, cloying, "castor-oil-and-Vienna-sausage" taste in my mouth whenever it stumbles clunkily from my tongue.

And it sounds like it's short for something.

Some type of "B"-log.

"Business Log," maybe? "Biographical Log?" I dunno ... a "Boring Log" of my daily activities and other goings-on that most (sane) people wouldn't care about?

Ugh!

Frick a blog.

The sad part about it is, you'll probably see this little curious kitty overcome by the "blog plague" if these things are still goin' strong in a few months, or a year.

Somebody help me! I need preventative meds.

"Blog shots", anyone?

Just $10 at Harmony's Frick-a-Blog Urgent Care.

"HUR-ry, HUR-ry, HUR-rrrry!" :-|

(Yeah, whatever.)

Article © 2003 by ... well, Harmony Major, of course. You'll be able to join the upcoming Marketing Twists blog SOON. But for now, just please continue reading the free e-business and marketing articles, and for heaven's sake -- enjoy. ;)